Goodbye Garbage Truck...

The end of an era has FINALLY come to our home.  It is bitter-sweet.  More sweet than bitter, however.  This also involves a story.  As if you doubted there wouldn't be a story.

In this story there are people involved.  No one was hurt in the making of this story.  I *might* have wanted to hurt someone or certain someones.  But I didn't.

We moved out to our home on the hill almost six years ago.  It'll be six years this summer.  We love it out here.  One of the things we love about living out here is that we don't have to keep our lawn perfectly manicured.  You know what I'm talking about because surely some of you are anal retentive about keeping your lawn in pristine condition.

We don't.  Don't get me wrong.  I can admire the lawns of folks who clearly enjoy being in their yards and pour time and energy into their yards.  In fact, I'm often incredibly green with envy because it is so tantalizing to the eyes.  The flowers, the bushes, the GRASS!  Not crabgrass.  Not weeds.  We have a degree in weed growing.  And we have lots of grubs that morph into flower devouring, bush munching, Japanese beetles.


Let the record also state that I grew up with an O.C.D. Dad.  He was the neighbor that was weeding and pruning, feeding his grass, fertilizing it.  You guys, he went on his hands and knees one year and went through the lawn getting those last few dandelion weeds that WOULD NOT go away!  Just digest that people: Hands. And. Knees.  Weed B Gone in one hand and a weed plucker in the other.

I think I turned out pretty balanced.

Until the truck came.  I am going to leave the party nameless that "blessed" us with the truck.  Without offending the generous soul, it was the most redneck truck I have been associated with.  Ever.  And my dad had some beauties in our day.

So we get the call to "come and git 'er".  It was ours free and clear with only a few exceptions.  One, it has no key so you have to hot wire it.  Two, in the bed of the truck there was about 3 months worth of garbage, in garbage bags that had been festering in the summer heat.  Festering.  Growing maggots and rot and stench.  It was really a non-issue.  HA!  Oh, and if you do come and get it you might not want to drive it on the highway because it doesn't have a title and if you get pulled over, well...

So what does the logical person do?  Call Jeff (our friend and comrade in crime) and have him come to get the "beaut!" with my darling husband.

I was in the background screaming NO!!! because we were in the midst of trying to pack and move and we were going to have this festering pile of blessedness in our driveway for about two to three weeks.  We had a dumpster at our house because we wanted to get rid of as much stuff as we could, to just do a cleanse and go to the new house with less.  The logical thing to do with three months worth of rotting garbage is to bring it home and put it in the dumpster.  I mean, we paid for that dumpster so let's get as much junk in there as possible.

Heck yea. 

Also, we had a neighbor that didn't like us and the jury was out on the others.  The others weren't mean, they just didn't talk to us.  I didn't find out that one of the neighbors was going to have a baby until she had the baby!  Can you tell how close we were?  I had no desire to be the scourge of the neighborhood by unleashing fly's by the hundreds, or more likely, the thousands.  Let's not even mention the stench. 
I'm just going to say that I was not at all happy about this.

Enter Mr. Engineer.  "Honey, once we get it fixed up and get a "salvaged" title for it, it'll be great!  Think of all we can haul with it.  And it's FREE!!"

(spider webs inside the truck. ewww!)

So I lost the battle.  And I was slightly bitter on the inside because you have to understand that I was already very self conscious of our family.  For pity's sake, we had company one day and they were there to check out our home school curriculum that we had used over the last couple of years.  A very solemn time as we were explaining how wonderful homeschooling is and how you really get to "know" yourself and your kids...  Then the phone rang.  It was the neighbor.  "Hey, um, Chloe is walking in her diaper in our back yard with her blankie dragging behind her."  It was a cold and rainy night.  We were making impressions with our neighbors for sure. 

So to get to the good part of this story, Rodger brought this truck home after some drama.  It died on the highway!  YEA!!  No title!  Oh, sorry Officer, this truck really isn't stolen property...  I actually thought I was going to get my wish and it was going to just disappear in the night before making it to our house.  No such luck.  It just so happened that Jeff "has a guy" that'll take care of the truck and get her running again.  Oh joy.

Rodger finally got the truck home and indeed the stench was wretched!  I just knew the odor was drifting from the truck into the neighbors kitchen window.  I lived in a state of perpetual embarrassment. 

Then Rodger decided to empty the bed of the truck of its contents into the dumpster.  My shame and embarrassment grew a hundredfold.  I'm telling you, this was hard for me.  It seems silly, but who wants to be known as the "garbage family" that lived next to someone and was the butt of the family laughter and jokes.  Not me.  So, I'm sure we are now, but I am o.k. with that.  Go ahead. 

The day Rodger decided to do the dumping came, and I was probably a bit cranky.  I'm just keeping this real because I'm sure I was snippy.  I'm not proud of that, but that is what happened.

Then Rodger opened the back of the truck up to let it air out a bit before he started in.

I wanted to watch this happen.  I was not going to go within 20 feet of that stinky cesspool of rot but I sure wasn't going to miss him doing it!  I went to our bedroom window to look out because the driveway was right below our window. 
Y'all!  I had a moment of laughter that I'll never forget.  Rodger was outside with a mask on his face and gloves on his hands.  As I watched him go in for that garbage he would grab a bag and then run real quick to the dumpster to toss it in.  After he had gotten the first ones out that were easy to grab he had to start climbing in.  I was coming and going from the window and it just so happened that on one of my comings there was Rodger, outside the truck in a bent over position DRY HEAVING!!!  Gagging with the best of them!!!  I could hear him and I LAUGHED!  Hard!  There wasn't a sympathetic bone in my body!  I could hear him gagging and watch his body shaking!!!  (sorry Rodger...)  I don't know if I have done justice to that story but I remember the gagging like it was yesterday.  It still makes me laugh! 

He got it all cleaned out and we finally moved out to the country!  Beverly Hillbilly's!

(does ANYONE see the magazine of irony in the forefront of this pic?  Engineering Pollution...  I think we are contributing to the pollution of the earth with this truck.  I mean, look at the inside?  I was afraid to take pictures.  Who knows what lives in here??)

Since we moved out here the truck has been used a grand total of approximately 10.3 times.  It keeps dying and then it'll sit for a few... years.  Rodger has these visions of grandeur.  He's going to fix it all up and give it to Josh to drive.  Not long ago Rodger used it to gather wood.  He drove it down the hill to the front woods and lo and behold, the four wheel drive quit working.  So it sat in those front woods looking like some sweet lawn decor!  Should have put it up on cinder blocks to finish the image...

I have come to an inner peace with having the truck at our home as mostly lawn decor.  No one can see it out here unless they come up our driveway.  Then last week Rodger had an offer from a client to buy the truck!  He said YES!!  He was ready to concede that he didn't have time to fix it and it wasn't doing anyone any favors here.

So farewell to my favorite piece of lawn decor!  May you bless someone elses life.  Hopefully not as lawn decor!

p.s.  I 100% appreciate my husbands ability to fix things and make something out of nothing.  He is a true engineer and has saved us thousands of dollars over the years!  He is THE MAN!!
p.s.s or is it p.p.s? We still have a piece of the truck that is staying with us.  That is a blog for another day.

Blessings to you, Tammy