Where were you?

I think that anyone who is old enough to really remember what September 11th was about, remembers where they were or what they were doing on that day.

I had just had Chloe one month before and Zach was just a little peanut, 18 months old.  Josh was in first grade at MCS and Sophie was in kindergarten.  I remember getting a phone call from someone ~ I can honestly tell you I don't remember who, that we were possibly under attack.  America was under attack.  There was a plane that had crashed into the World Trade Center buildings and I needed to turn on the news. 

In moments like that I tend to go in circles for a few minutes.  Then I gather myself and stop and think about what is going on.  For all I knew, there were going to be attacks in every city!  Should I go and get my little kids from school?  Were we safe?  Was this it?

I'm just saying, these are the things that went on in my brain.  I packed up my two littles and made a hasty jaunt over to my parents house because they had cable.  We did not.

When I got there and turned the television on, I remember just being in shock!  This is America.  We are the ones going out to help others.  We are big and strong, and frankly, weren't we invincible?  I sat there and watched reruns of the first plane crashing into the first tower.  Then I watched in horror as the second plane crashed into the second tower.  The chaos and fear were palpable even in my own little town.  So far removed from the center of it all and yet feeling like I was right there. 

Then the towers started to collapse.  One at a time.  More fear.  More chaos.  More questions.  Why did we have children in such a world?  Is this what they had to look forward to?  A life of war? 

The days that followed brought such contemplation on life.  How can Hollywood just keep going on like it was?  How can people go and watch movies at the theatre like nothing had happened?  How can you laugh or think past what is happening?  Again, these are just what was going on in my mind.  On a side note, we did eventually laugh.  And see movies.  But it was all changed.

In my brain, always lurking more toward the front, was the possibility that even our town was going to be attacked.

I can honestly say that without the peace of God that transcends all understanding, I might have been swallowed up.  Who wouldn't be?  My biggest concern was for my children.  I don't look forward to a suffering death, but I do not fear death.  I have a heavenly reward awaiting me.  My concern was for the suffering that I could have possibly seen my children go through.  I can say that I don't know one parent that would throw their child under the bus when it comes to suffering and I didn't know what I would have been called on to endure.  Seeing my children suffer would have put that to the test.  It still does.

So yes, today we remember those that have suffered because of terrorist attacks on our land.  Some lost loved ones.  Some live in constant fear of the "what ifs".  Some suffer in a physical ways because of the attacks and they have been wounded ~ physically, mentally, emotionally.  Today I am a different person because of what our nation has been through.  I am glad for those who serve in the armed forces for the protection and freedom we enjoy.  I hope that is never taken for granted.

I have a facebook friend that posted this link and I think that it is a good one to see some very powerful photos of that day in the heart of it all.


Blessings to you,
Tammy